1. GET HELP
Let people help you. You need people who will come to your home, wash and fold your washing and clean your toilets and make tea while you nurse baby. Your mum, sister-friends or mothers helper.
2. DON'T HELP
The only person you help is the baby- and your kids if no one else can. Otherwise- if someone needs a meal or a volunteer or a ride or—NOPE. It’s not you. Not for a solid six months, probably longer.
3. GATHER YOUR TRIBE
For comfort, friendship - gather the women can see you in your milk-stained t-shirt, greasy hair and streaked mascara and there is NO SHAME ANYWHERE. Schedule time with a girlfriend at least weekly.
4. ACKNOWLEDGE WHERE YOU ARE
If you’re suffering emotionally or mentally at all- it's not nothing. It's not too small. It’s not shameful. You are normal. You are ok. Reach out and get help.
5. GIVE YOURSELF ALL THE praises IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.
There are about seven thousand ways for a new mom to feel like she's failing...and 6,997 of them are lies. You're not failing! You are doing a brilliant amazing job, and this really is just as insanely hard as it feels. You're climbing Mount Everest here.
6. DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
Get takeout. Massages. Your favorite ice cream. A daily hour-long shower. Time A-L-O-N-E. A flattering post-baby outfit. Make room in the day and in your finances to keep you healthy and happy. You need stuff right now- and that is perfectly OK.
7. GET REST
Rest as in sleep. This is the season of rest (except it's not unless you actually sit down sometimes.) PAY FOR NAPS. Hire a sitter and go to sleep. It just matters! When you don’t rest the whole world spins off its axis.
I am not talking about
the baby or the nursery or the parenting style or any of the millions of other things… Prepare for you- for your health, wellness, healing, and rest. This is the one season
in life where you will need to be cared for. It's not actually possible to stress this enough. Know what recharges you and make a solid plan to get some of that every single
week throughout postpartum. Let nothing short of a true emergency interfere with these plans.
Line up a postpartum support, a laundry service, a grocery delivery service, a weekend away. Do something big and intentional to prepare for your personal wellness after baby.
If you stick to these
rules for postpartum, it will alter the course of your mothering life. Not exaggerating. A truly peaceful postpartum is transformative enough that's it's absolutely worth doing what it takes to
Ok. Time to stop reading and start changing something- every small step is a step in the right direction. And action is the key to success.